i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
