make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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