If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
His nipple licking is glorious
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