Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
