I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
