She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
