Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
