did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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