Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
