did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
