I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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