Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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