don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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