dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
