just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
