Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
