My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
