Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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