ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
