You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
