According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
