It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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