After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
