she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
