how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
