Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
