I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
NoShamevember. You game?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
