Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
