I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
