Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
