Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
