What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
