I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
