I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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