i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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