Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
