right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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