youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He did a backflip because drugs
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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