i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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