I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm passing your future prison.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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