You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
