i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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