Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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