her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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