Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We were destined to go to rehab together
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
