The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
