My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
