Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
