i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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