the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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