Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
