I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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