wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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