You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
